H.O.A. Is On My @$$ Assassinate My Yard Today
$65
$50
Front or Back Only
We come out TODAY!
Must book before 4 or...
We come out Tomorrow!
Cutting Weed-eating Edging Blowing
Thank You Hidden Creek For Making Us A Success!!! We Look Forward To Growing Even More With You!!!
News & Updates
The Good...
Due to popular demand we are looking at adding hedge trimming and weed/insect spraying to the line of services for our current members. We hope to try and have them online before the end of the current season.
The Bad...
Also due to popular demand... us....! We are nearly fully booked!!! Thank you neighbors!!! We feel truly blessed to be apart of such a community. The downside of that is that we can no longer offer online booking as we only have a very few slots available. Please call us at 706.564.6449 to reserve one of those.
The Ugly...
Not Us ! We make brazen mud-covered sweat look good! If you would like to learn how to be a stud of steel green plant slayers today is your lucky day. For a limited time only we are seeking some part time help. Act now and we will throw in some starting paperwork for absolutely free!
We cut your grass
to keep the H.O.A. off your @$$
Yup its pretty simple!
If you live in Hidden Creek and want your grass cut... That's us.
We cut your grass, weed-eat, Edge, and Blow Simple and cheap.
We are not landscapers and don't pretend to be to raise prices like some companies do.
Simple Pricing - No complicated quotes
!!!Take A Hit Out On Your Yard!!!
You may be charged and additional $10 OVERGROWN FEE if it is your first service or you have had more that 2wks since the last service.
We accept cash, and credit cards. You will receive an invoice with a pay link via text and email after the job is done.
Small @$$ Yards & Townhomes Front & Back
$30
$20 Front or Back Only
Cutting Weed-eating Edging Blowing
Claudia Dr. Griese Ln. Buddy Ct. Nikki Way Gilman Ct.
Ericka Ln.
between Hero Way
and Warrior Way
About me... us... this... whatever
Long story, not-so-short...
I’ve got ADHD, which means our garage is filled with all sorts of wild creations I build, I’m running amuck in the neighborhood (shout-out to Dex and Steve!), throwing parties, and occasionally blowing stuff up—cue the cops. Yeah, I’m looking at you, Karen, Kyle, and Chad.
I know, my life is awesomesauce! You should be jealous. If you're not... well, not all of us are blessed with a high IQ. Anyway, my much better half suggested I do something a bit more productive with my time. We’ve got a couple of carbon copies running around now—aka kids—who’ve finally figured out money’s a thing and they probably need some.
So, some years ago, I retired. My thing used to be helping small businesses grow from small into... less small. The hot lady I do... "naughty stuff" with thought it might be a good idea to teach those creatures we made a few skills in that area.
My solution? Because of the ADHD I like to cut grass. I figured it's a simple enough service for the crotchgoblins and I to do and not screw up too bad. I also figured there were neighbors out there like me, who didn't want to pay outrageous landscaping prices to get what they really wanted—a neighborhood kid who just cut the grass for cheap and showed back up again later.
That being said, I'm not ready to come out of retirement completely, so we are only doing Hidden Creek with a limited number of customers. Enough for me to teach the mini's how to grow and maintain a business. We are cheap because we only cut grass. No Karen, I won't do your hedges because I don't want to. No Kyle, I won't do your retaining wall or french drain cause I'm not a landscaper, and No Chad, I won't thatch, seed, regrow, lay sod, or manicure your lawn.
Long story short,...
We’re not fans of Karen, Kyle, or Chad. We won't get you on the cover of Wetter Gnomes and Gardens. We cut your grass to keep the H.O.A. off your @$$!
Meet us
Who we be and all that
Paul
Slayer of Yard Growth
Kindergarten Star Sticker Recipient
That's me in the "About me... us... this... whatever" section. Do you really want to know more about me? Hit the book of face button then, I guess. See me out and about, shout! I got the ism's and like to talk.
Davis
Grass Contract Killer
Bob Ross look-a-like
Turns out, to get paid to paint you actually have to be able to paint and not just look like Bob Ross! So I guess I'll just try being super cool and this grass cutting stuff. Also, I REALLY like ramen.
Dylan
Weed-Whacker Warrior
Temu Tom Cruise
In addition to being an off brand model, fighter, and stunt double, I am using this to poach customers for the much superior company, Supreme Soft Wash. Why are you still here? Go outside. See how your driveway and sidewalk need cleaning? Come back inside. Call 706.664.1792.
Emily
Princess of the Phone
Bestower of Star Stickers
Don't worry, you probably won't have to talk to the other people on this site. I answer the phone. Unless you're like Steve and actually give them a drink. Brave man, that Steve, and for the love of God don't feed any of them! They will never stop coming around after that.
FAQ
Questions and other stuff we do sometimes...
Will y'all cut my grass?
Absofreakinglutely. As a matter of fact that is about all we do. We cut your grass to keep the H.O.A. off your @$$. We are so nice we will throw in edging, blowing, and weed-eating too FOR FREE. I know we Kick @$$.
I don't have a yard anymore just weeds where it used to be. Will y'all cut that?
Yup, they die beneath our blades of mulching death. Just like the grass does, so no problem.
Will y'all do my hedges?
No Karen, we have been over this...
How often do y'all cut my grass?
We can do weekly, every other week, or whenever you click them "BUY NOW" buttons.
We aren't Chad's snot-nosed Timmy who cut your grass one time to get that X-Station/Playbox game he wanted then never showed back up again.
Will y'all seed/sod/thatch my yard?
D@mn it Kyle, you listen about as well as Chad and Karen...
If I want something destroyed, will y'all hit it with a mower?
Depending on what it is, and my access to Tannerite...yup. We will also video it and share it here for everyone's enjoyment.
my yard is awesome now, but my driveway/sidewalk looks like crap. can you help?
Nooooope I can't,... but the thing I live with can power-wash the crap out of it for yah. This is his stuff here Supreme Soft Wash Phone: 706.664.1792
Heard you build stuff too, Can you help me build... ?
whether its a whole organization system for your garage (What's up Tedi!), a rocking chair set for the porch (How's it Robinson), or just help putting that go cart/bike together for the crumbsnatchers, run it by me. The more interesting the project the better. No Chad, not your fence. No Karen, not your shingles either.
If I see y'all , can I bring ya a "Drink" and shoot the sh*t about Karen, Kyle, and Chad?
Of course you can. Thank you Steve for starting this tradition. Although no "Special" drinks for Temu Tom Cruise. The Bob Ross look alike would probable prefer a "Regular" drink. I however would be glad to Imbibe with you while talking about Karen's ugly @$$ haircut, and how Chad and Kyle can go the wrong way down an I-20 off ramp.
I have a complaint, how do i get in touch with y'all?
Depends, If my mower shot a rock through your window, I assure you I have already contacted you. If the hedges weren't done, please write a very strongly worded letter or e-mail. The more profanity in it the better, I really want you to get it out and feel heard. Then promptly deposit it in the trash or hit the delete button. I ONLY CUT GRASS KAREN! We have been over this. For all other complaints the "Contact us" section works pretty well.
Is this for real?
I know its hard to believe, but you are currently looking at it literally right now. So yeah its really a thing, that like really exists and stuff.
Is this Serious?
This site not so much. The yard cutting thing, I mean its not rocket science or brain surgery. So yeah its about as serious as grass cutting can be. Hell I think we do a pretty good job of it.
Is this a Scam?
I live in your neighborhood. My fb page is in the meet us section. If it is, I am about the dumbest scammer there is.
Contact us
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